Everything Is Your Fault....Or Why Tom Bilyeu Is Brilliant

Writing is lonely business. Whether you write from home or surrounded by like-minded individuals, when it comes down to it, putting word to page is just you and your thoughts trying to make sense of a mad, mad, mad, mad world. To produce articles and novels on the reg requires Herculean amounts of self-discipline and self-motivation.

The self-discipline I've got. I've written more in the past couple weeks than most people do their entire lives. Even self-professed "writers". The motivation, well, that's the sticky wicket.

Don't get me wrong, I am more than motivated to write. For me, it is a need, not a want. I always love finding out what I've got to say. More often than not, I surprise myself with my turns of phrase. I read my work and think, Did I write that? Wow! I'm my biggest fan. You have to be otherwise you have no business writing.

The problem comes in when it seems no one else gives a crap about what I have to say. It's nothing short of heartbreaking to have a novel flop or to see a scant number in the "Views" column of blog post. I start to feel as though I am screaming into the void. If one writes from a place of honesty, heart, and soul, it's a blow to ye ole ego to be told by end results, "What you gave wasn't enough." All BS aside, that's how it feels: Cindy you are not enough.

But thanks to billionaire genius, Tom Bilyeu, learned how to flip that script. I read an article on Inc.com, The Simple Way to Find Your Passion According to a Founder Who Built a Billion-dollar Brand by Gerard Adams (which I referenced in my first post here on Clean!) Understand, I am not a flavor of the month kinda gal. And no, I am NOT calling Bilyeu a flavor of the month, far from it. I subscribe to tried and true advice such as:

You have to do it the old-fashioned way...you have to eeeeeearn it (And yes, John Houseman does always narrate that line in my head, who else would, silly?).

If you don't know what you are doing, pretend that you do and no one else will the difference - Hugh N. Wiggins aka my dad.

Nothing is ever as good or as bad as it seems - again gotta attribute that to Dad.

Stop screwing around and get your homework done. - Ruby Wiggins aka Mom

Hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard - Kevin Durant

First rule of leadership: EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT - A Bug's Life.

Or more recently the way Tom Bilyeu put it in the aforementioned article: "How did I create this situation?"

KA-BLOOEY, mind blown. I'd never thought of my flailing writing career in quite that way.

Well, we all know my sitch right now. Working an EDJ that is killing me, the faucet of words shut off, a situation I thought would be a permanent one. But as all real writers know, that pipe will burst one day and it did burst, leaving me covered in the sewage of my own shame, regret, and bitterness.

I had two choices: wallow like a pig in my own filth, or grab of tub of wet naps (preferably antimicrobial), clean myself up and figure out "How did I create this situation?"

Here is my confession:

• I doubted my talent.
• I allowed the needs of others to supercede my own, trying to be some kind of martyr, somehow more loved for my sacrifice.
• I made expensive choices both financially and emotionally.
• I wrote what I thought other people wanted to read instead of writing what makes me happy.
• I put all my eggs in one basket.
• I bought into the myth of "overnight success". I hoped one book would rocket me to the bestsellers list. **see the aforementioned John Houseman line.
• I thought small.
• I stopped making it personal.
• I got caught up in what Bilyeu would call "petty emotions" which is exactly what they are.
• I stopped READING....a writer's cardinal sin.
• I isolated myself.
• I did what I thought was expected of me.
• I let other tell me who I am or who I should be.
• I hid my true self from the world because I thought my true self was unacceptable.
• I allowed my vices to control me.
• I blamed others for my failure.
• Worst of all, I stopped trying.

I admit right here and right now that I, Cindy Anne Henson Wiggins Jacks, made every single one of those decisions.

So....how do I re-create my situation so that I elevate myself from the cacophony of self-doubt to the place of literary greatness I know I can achieve?

Well, I don't have all the answers yet, but I do know I don't know everything. I embrace my mistakes and I vow to myself, and no one else, that I will never give up ever again. When faced with obstacles, I will find a way around, over, under, or through. I will reinvent myself a thousand times because I owe it to myself to do so.

From here on out, I accept everything is my fault. Sincerely, thank you, Tom, for what you do.

Cheers,

Cindy